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Bats in the Attic

Appropriately subtitled, "The Specific Detail I Wish I Was Aware of Prior to Buying a Country House, Not That it Would Have Changed My Mind ..."

Dear Diary,
One night, as Nick and I relaxed in the stillness of an evening that is the result of sleeping children, we began to hear strange noises coming from the front porch.

We looked out the window, only to have confusion set in as we listened but didn't see anything amiss.

That's because the creature was stuck in the attic. And whatever it was had wings, because those strange noises were said creature flapping them.

It was a bat.

Now, living in the country, this new development didn't come as a surprise. Just kick it out or kill it, right?


Apparently bats are classified as a "protected species" so for the not cheap price of $520 to have someone come out, we had to have this unfortunate tube placed. The unsightly thing pokes out of the vent above the garage, because fuck aesthetics, I guess.

It allows the bat to fly out, but not back in.

And you have to wait for the damn thing to take the initiative on its own.

Because if it decided to make its nest and have young in there? Well, then our house is suddenly a multi-family home until the end of summer when they migrate.

My largest concern was that the bat had shit everywhere, which is disturbed, can be toxic.

After about a day or two, the flapping sounds we had heard stopped. Either the bat vacated the premises, or it had died.

For now, we're taking the 'ignorance is bliss' approach, hoping for the best and that we have no more unwelcome squatters. I've read horror stories about the hefty price tags that come with remediating bat infestations, and though I'd hardly call one bat an "infestation," it certainly isn't something I'd like to re-experience.

Neither would my pocketbook, thanks. #themoreyouknow

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