Copyright by Brianne Sieberg. Powered by Blogger.

A Property in Bloom

Dear Diary,
I questioned why I returned to the dumpster fire that is Facebook.

The 'ignorance is bliss' approach far outweighs the accessibility to people in your social circles. I've had enough of the political posts, the vague status and meme updates, and the stupid pyramid schemes that spread under the disguise of "girl boss."

The final straw for me was when a high school classmate I hadn't spoken to in 17 years, discovered my daughter has T1D, and had the audacity to send me a message, "did you know insulin is a toxic myth that the pharmaceuticals use to make money? Manage blood sugar with essential oils for a healthier lifestyle, and I can help get you started today!"

Angry, I immediately fired back, "YOU'RE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE. Listen, while you spewed your nonsense, guess what hormone your pancreas naturally secreted into your bloodstream? INSULIN. Type 1 Diabetes is the ABSENCE OF INSULIN production, which must be supplemented in a biologic or biosimilar form or else, that person will die. Do not speak to me again, and do not ever try to sell me this snake oil again."

My aunt and I had a conversation about this very topic, as she is one of the few relatives who can relate to precisely what it is we're going through re: chronic illnesses. It's been a few months since I deactivated, and I've noticed a huge improvement to my overall sense of well-being. She mentioned she was inspired to pursue the same.

It's also to blame for my sparse posting to Instagram. Why in the f*ck are we wasting so much time online, instead of out enjoying our lives? In addition to Facebook, I've also deactivated the online Time Sucks that are Pinterest, LinkedIn, Flickr and Google+. I don't use Skype, but I still use Twitter to piss and moan and complain, but even there, I've made it policy to block those I share a DNA profile with.

It's okay to disconnect.

Not everyone has to know every single detail, or be a part of every aspect of your life, or know every thought in your brain - some things are worthy of being kept to yourself. Is nothing private anymore?

We are approaching the first anniversary of the date we moved in.

This city girl never thought she'd admit to this, but thank God I live here.

I love the isolation. I despise humanity to the extent that I enjoy the solitude.

People seem to exist to cause chaos in other people's lives, and I'm pleased to have this retreat.

I work in a city center, and I feel like I can't exhale until I come back home.

They say that spending time outdoors can be a healing experience, as green spaces refresh and re-energize the mind. I took these photos on my DSLR, not my phone, during a walk that lasted nearly an hour as I explored my property.

A common complaint I hear, is the lack of time.

We glorify being busy, as if working is the end-all-be-all of a well-lived life.

Then, when we're not at work, we're online - posting pictures of the things that work has afforded us.

The highlight reel.

Which, to an extent, I get it - you need money, shelter, food, and clothing to live. There's student loans and utilities to pay for. There's a responsibility that comes with life - to ourselves, our children, our home. But isn't there more to it than that?

For the past year, I've tried to empower my children to think for themselves.

And I strived to show them that their opinions are valued and matter. They have an idea of what they want, what they like, what they want to try, experiences they want to have. They have the freedom to take charge and plan their birthdays, down to the food they'll consume and how to spend their time.

They do not exist for my convenience, and I try to not force things upon them. I try not to force or manage their relationships with others. And yes - I'm fully aware that they're 10 and 7, and I am their parent. That's why I feed them sometimes. If they want to talk about something, they will. If they don't want to talk about something with you, they won't. I show them I respect their privacy and personal space by knocking on their door, and not opening their mail.

All of that to say, I'm teaching them to leave some things sacred.

To think I turn 35 next month, and though I've crossed off many a milestone and achieved many a goal, I feel as though there is still so much more I've yet to learn about life.

There is a lot I let go of. I've seen plenty of examples of what not to do. I'm grateful even for those experiences for I know what to avoid.

I don't need permission or approval. I am under no obligation to explain, justify or defend why I chose to do something. Live and let live. I understand it won't change opinions, but at the same time, if you cannot respectfully fold yourself into the life or home or marriage of someone else, then a boundary has been crossed.

For me, it was the private message from someone trying to sell me an MLM product. For my own peace of mind, I chose to value living my life more than watching others' online so I deactivated all but a few accounts.

I've grown intolerant of bulls*t, and I lack the capacity and room for it in my life.

And bulls*t seems to fester in social media timelines.

I suppose there is irony in a post that discusses leaving the Internet on the Internet.

But the key factor here is, I chose to post instead of giving in to the feeling that I had to in order to appease someone else.

Just like I chose my DSLR over my iPhone, and I chose to be outside rather than in.

Maybe someday I'll choose to reactivate my Facebook profile.

But for now, it's nice knowing it's something I can take or leave.

Has anyone else decided which aspects of their lives hold a higher priority over others?

My property is starting to bloom.

Maybe at almost-35, I'm finally starting to as well.

Sidenote: I scored these $55 hanging ferns for a mere $13. I love how they look above my front porch.

And all of this, because I went for a walk.

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