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Thoughts as I watch House Hunters International

Fair Warning: Two HGTV series House Hunters & House Hunters International make me angry which then, makes me drink in an attempt to calm down. This post is born out of such self-medication, and serves as a cautionary tale to watch marathons of these shows with care.

I think I despise House Hunters International more than I despise House Hunters.

Remember this Facebook post from a month or so ago?


Well on House Hunters International, it is even more ridiculous. The subjects might as well be saying something to the effect of "I glue googly eyes on fruit. My budget is 5 million dollars."

And then ... it is always, always ALWAYS the spouse who doesn't work who is so flexible on price.

To which, the camera then pans to the working spouse who is extremely nervous for the rest of the episode.

The show does feature buyers from many different countries, but I'm only going to comment on the Americans who appear.

First, are the Americans who expect American amenities and by that I mean the "go big or go home" approach to real estate.

One episode featured a couple who were still in that "honeymoon" phase that occurs when you move from a snowy climate to sunny Mexico (for example). They are shown smiling, and holding hands as they walk in the surf, and they tell their realtor they seek a house with plenty of "local charm and character."

... Only to have that house be eliminated from contention immediately because it had "local charm and character." They end up buying the house that reminds them of where they're from, resulting in the realtor rolling his eyes so hard he was able to conduct a brain scan on himself.

Or, the people moving to Dubai who were surprised there was sand everywhere.

Do you even Google, bro?

Do you know anything about the location you're moving to?

And I'm sorry, but you will not find an America-sized bathroom in Europe.

I must elaborate on that one.

Because while I empathize with the fact that when you are used to things being a certain way, it can come as a bit of a culture shock when you encounter something different in another country. (... like paying 5 Kronner to use a public restroom in Sweden.)

But in this instance, a family was touring an estate so large it made Buckingham Palace look like a f***ing dollhouse, and they had to pass on it because the bathrooms were too small.

Were they planning to utilize the bathroom space for dinner parties or something? There was ample space for its intended purpose, it was just smaller than 1,000-square foot Master bathrooms in America.

That was when I changed the channel. I couldn't handle it anymore.

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